Many years ago and early in the development of my speaking/consulting business, I learned an important lesson about relationship building in a seemingly inconsequential conversation with some of my friends. One day as I was walking in the mall with Tom, one of my closest friends (or so I thought), I introduced Tom to another friend, Mike. Mike inquired of Tom about his goals in life. I thought "WOW! What a cool question to ask someone if you are trying to get to know them!" and, I'm sad to say, after knowing Tom for years, I could not answer it. Since then, I have never allowed that to happen to me again. I would never call someone a "friend" and not know what their goals, dreams, or ambitions are. I never wanted to call another person "friend" unless I was able to give them the gift of attention.
How does this illustration translate into the business world? Each day as I go about developing my business, I imagine people wearing a big, invisible t-shirt reading, "Make me feel important." Giving the gift of attention can be challenging with limited time; such as when I fly in and out the same day for speaking engagements with minimal opportunities to make someone feel important more than once. As a result, I've developed a philosophy and a list of questions to help me make my clients feel important. Keep in mind this same philosophy and list can help you with prospective clients, friends and family members.
My philosophy of an "A List" is based on one of my core values - Relationships. More than income, gain or position, building long lasting relationships is a lifestyle. Acting as a catalyst and bringing people together is a way of personal growth and seeing others succeed. When creating your "A List", develop a list of important contacts (current customers, prospective customers, mentors, strategic alliances, vendors etc.) and contact them monthly, bi-monthly or quarterly (depending on the relationship). Touch base with each individual via mail, phone or e-mail and provide valuable information, updates, useful tools or unique gifts specific to the individual. This organized method of giving the gift of attention goes beyond exceeding the deliverables promised and will build the relationship to last a lifetime. The concept is more than sending a birthday card and/or Christmas/Hanukkah card. It is sending an anniversary card because you know that day is special, especially when it's the 25th, 50th, etc. It is discovering what your clients' hobbies and passions are and sending them a related book that you purchase especially for them. For example, of the 100 people on my "A List", I know 24 of them are dog and cat lovers, 47 love golf and 29 love football. So last month when I purchased books, I bought books based on what they like. By the way, it can be as simple as a bookmarker. It doesn't have to be grand each time. It is the thought and consistent contact that make it meaningful.
Listed below are some questions to help you generate the information you need to make your gifts meaningful. Here's a word of caution: Don't ask each individual all of the questions all at once. Remember that it is a discovery process intending to help build your relationship into a meaningful contact. With a little bit of effort, great listening skills and time, over the years, you will be able to celebrate the high school graduation of their children, weddings and births of their grandchildren.
Simply weave these questions into a conversation and, as you get started, you will generate questions of your own.
- When you're not working, what do you like to do?
- What's your favorite food/restaurant? (This makes a good gift card for dinner in their town later.)
- When they mention kids or family or you see a picture in their office, you can ask how many kids they have, ages, activities, etc.
- What is your alma mater?
- When a client or prospect talks about personal things, it's critical that the focus is all about them. It's a privilege when they share with you and let you in their world. You honor them when you remember those magic moments in their life that they shared with you.
- Is there something special you collect?
I'd love to hear about the questions you create! Drop me a line at manny@manueldiotte.com.
Lastly, the "A List" is not something for you to go broke on. A simple newspaper clipping of something that you think they might be interested in or a simple phone call sharing something of value are all effective. Don't always call when you need something or to check on current business. The important thing is to start. Best wishes and cheers to your success!
Manuel Diotte is a professional speaker, trainer, consultant and coach. He is the author of the life-changing book, "Happiness Is a Pair Of Shorts!", and contributing author to "Success is a Journey" and "Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul". He lives in San Antonio, TX and can be reached at 210.404.1185 or www.manueldiotte.com. © 2005 All copyrights reserved. 
